Start living like you are already there: Live your vision NOW!

I want you to close your eyes and let your mind wander. 

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What would your life look like if you were living your dream life? Unlimited wealth, unlimited time, freedom to go wherever you like and do whatever you want to do?

Free of any objections or obligations. 

What would you do? 

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What is sitting left unfinished on your bucket list? 

PS: You don’t ever want to have an empty bucket list…mine just keeps getting longer, that's because I am going to live to be 150 at least 💃🏻

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Your mission for this week is to take an hour for yourself just to dream. 

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Part 1: A blank canvas

Start with a blank canvas. I like to grab my colouring markers and sketch book and start with two blank pages. 

And then I just like to start

I usually get a nice coffee, smoke a big fat joint, followed by a 30 minute meditation or 60 minute yoga session to start. 

Then I take 30 minutes and put everything that I can think of on paper, you can take as long as you want but I find it helpful as an artist to put a time limit on my colouring or I will be 9 hours in and forget the intended purpose of my drawing.

No matter what comes up, it's just a complete brain dump. You can use different colors, pictures, or just draw all the things that you can think of you want to do. 

Map out your experience of all the places you want to go and the food you want to eat. 

Whatever ideas people connect, just get it all on paper. 

From my notes: 

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“One time I said that I wanted to curate the wine list for Emirates Airline, well now I want to curate the weed list for the Waldorf Astoria and Conrad hotels around the world”

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“I don't want to be a cook! I want to eat good food”

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“Cannabis infused gruyere fondue with chardonnay”

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Don’t question it, don't edit it, these things have come up for a reason and they are part of your vision. 

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Part 2: Inspiration

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Maybe you have no idea what you really want. Maybe you are so stuck in a rut that you cant see past the next hour in front of you, that’s fine. 

Take some time to find some joy and inspiration. 

Look back at old photos or trips or past memories that inspire you. When were you most happiest, do you have any epic memories?

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For me I always go back to the day I was surfing in Rio de Janeiro.

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Or my last day diving in Mozambique when I got amazing video footage, saw all the underwater creatures and knew it was my last time suiting up there before we left. 

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What are some of those amazing memories that you go back to when you want to dream. 

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Maybe you haven't had any experiences or ever traveled, well then look at travel bloggers on Instagram. 

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Questions to ask yourself:

Where are the places and photos that connect with you? 

What are the things you'd like to have? 

What does the Rockstar global CEO version of you look like? 

What do they do for fun? 

What clothes do they wear? 

What do they eat? 

Where do they live?

Who do they hang out with? 

Who are their co-founders, their funders, their supporters? 

What kind of music does the rock star listen to? 

What kind of art do they consume? 

Where do they holiday? 

What activities do they do?

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Maybe you've never left home. So look at other people's stories. What are your wildest dreams?

One time my dream was to live in a hut in Mozambique and scuba dive and I lived it. I got up every morning at 5 am and ran on the beach, and spent my days scuba diving and doing photos and videos. It was amazing and it was really devastating when I had to leave.

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But I took time to realize that there are many more dream lives and that I get to live each new iteration of it as I grow personally and professionally and live in different countries and cities. 

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So how do you know what your dreams are? If you've never experienced it?

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Part 3: Dream date

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Growing up as little girls we had a game called “Dream Date”. I will save you my feminist rant on what I think about this and will introduce you to my version. 

When was the last time you took yourself out on a date? 

Have you ever gone out by yourself? 

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When I escaped my abuser, I had no idea what I liked to do. I didn't know what I liked to eat, what I liked to do. My life had been so controlled that I had lost myself. 

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With spouses, family, children, work it is easy to lose your identity. Especially for women, many of whom never had an opportunity to have a period of independence between family and spouse. 

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Today, I want you to plan to take yourself on a date. 

Spend the day with yourself and do all the things you want to do.

Go to the spa. 

Get your hair done. 

Take yourself to lunch

Buy yourself a treat. 

Try on that fancy dress and buy it (even if you return it next week). 

Have a glass of champagne

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Whatever your version of a dream date is. Go and take yourself out and do all the things that you want to do for yourself. 

When I was in Toronto for my birthday I took myself on my birthday dream date. I had a morning swim at the rooftop bar at the Hilton on Christmas Eve.

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Then went out for a walk and I had infused cannabis cider. 

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Then, like out of the movies, Breakfast at Tiffany's. I had my breakfast but it was really late in the day. So it's more like an evening croissant  at Holt Renfrew which is kind of this Canadian version of Breakfast at Tiffany's being the only luxury department store in Canada. 

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I went home to the Hilton, and got dressed up in my little black dress for dinner.

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I went to the Shangri La for dinner and enjoyed the Alexander McQueen dispaly.

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Then I went for a midnight showing of an international film at TIFF and got to sneak around after hours taking photos and I finished up with a walk home (to the Hilton) in Toronto. 

That was my Toronto birthday dream date and I can think of no one that would've enjoyed that day with me as much as I did. In different cities your dream date could look different. And it is entirely up to you what you do on your dream date with yourself you don't need to justify it to anyone.

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So plan a dream day for yourself, go out and try on new clothes, get your hair done, play dress up, go dancing. 

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The first time you do it, you might feel absolutely ridiculous. Like why am I getting all dressed up? But that's part of the fun.

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Part 4: Self-care

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After you have gone on your date, take time to reflect. Do up the budget for the things you want to buy or the trip you want to take. 

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Ask yourself these questions:

How did you feel when you were living your dream day? 

How did you feel when you got home? 

What were the things that you wanted to indulge in? 

What is the smallest part of my dream day that I can bring into my daily life? 

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For example I might not be having  champagne at a rooftop pool every morning and drinking my cappuccino at holts, but I can bring that same magic to my swim and morning cafe et croissant everyday. 

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Why is it important to pamper yourself?

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A lot of women have been socialized and conditioned to expect men to plan these dream days. And they are left disappointed when they don't. 

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Or worse. 

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You become dependent on men, whisking you off your feet.

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And you get so dependent on them doing it that you don't treat yourself to the luxury and you expect someone else to do it for you.

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I was actually in the cycle of (I am embarrassed to admit it) but if my boyfriend didn't plan a weekend away. I wouldn't go away. I'd sit at home. How fucking crazy is that?

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And for men, you have been socially and culturally conditioned to take women out and do pampering and doting for women, but you've never really been taught how to spoil yourself or how to pamper yourself.

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Unless you've been in an industry where you're coached on how to handle money and how to present yourself you haven't had that experience. 

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An investment banker ex-boyfriend of mine told me that when he got his first 100k bonus, the advice from his boss was to “Spend it all and spend it all on himself; because no one needs a $2 million funeral or a million dollar ex-wife.”

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No one has ever given me that kind of financial advice. 

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In fact, it's more like “You are a woman… Who allowed you to have a bank account and let you leave the house?”

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And I am aware that many women of my generation still do not have their own personal bank accounts or access to their own money. 

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If you are in a situation when you don't have any money you can still go on a dream date, I have taken myself out many a times and wandered into free meals, event tickets, complimentary coffee, when people see you living in your energy they are attracted to you and you will attract what you want! 

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Allowing yourself indulgences, pampering yourself and taking care of yourself are all important for building your dream life. 

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1. Motivation: Having those comforts and celebrations allow you to push through the hard parts and can unstick you when you get stuck in a rut. Because entrepreneurship is hard, I thought I would be living in Spain by now, but at least I made it for a visit and I have those pictures and videos and memories to keep me pushing when I want to give up. 

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2. Breaks a cycle: It also breaks you out of the cycle of “I'll be happy when…” I was involved with someone who was always “Things will be better when this or that happens.” Well when this and that happened he still was a miserable louse because he didn't know how to be happy in himself. Happiness isn't a destination, it is a mindset. 

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3. Creates new patterns: when we have been living our lives for a certain way you get comfortable, if you want to make a serious change in your life you need to break the old patterns and habits and create new ones. 

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For example, surfing in Rio is one of the things that I go back to so I decided that I want to take up surfing at 40, which is probably a crazy idea, but there you have it, it's on my vision board.

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I started by taking myself on a vacation to try out all the things that I want to do and experience living abroad, like a trial version. I wanted to see if surfing was still something that excited me. I went to Playa del Carmen and booked a session. From that I learned, I love being on the water. I need to dedicate about two years to learn to surf, and I can expect to be out on the water for about two hours a day and I need to build up my upper body strength and my core strength. 

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Coming back after my trip, I was more motivated than ever to go swimming and I started working out at the gym! 

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Now when I go for my swim or workout at the gym I have framed it as “surf training”. I am not yet geographically or physically able to surf every day, but I am building the foundations so that when I do arrive there I will be (better) prepared! 

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Is there an activity you already do as training for future you? Is there something that you can reframe from an obligation to foundation building. Give it a try and see how your mind and body react when you change your mindset. 

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Success is not an end point. You will never feel you have you made it, because there will always be new things to do. The change comes when you shift your habits and mindset and realize this is it and you are doing it and living your dream life!

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